Tiny Tina: 7 Days To Kill
by Saravv75
Summary: An omnibus for the amazing Tiny Tina Will be updated every one or two weeks. Rated T for language. FIRST TINY TINA FANFIC ON THE WEBSITE WOOOO Will be at least 7 different stories.
1. 1: Best Friends Forever and Ever

_WELCOME MY FRIENDS! You have been cordially invited to read the first Tiny Tina Fanfiction on teh INTERNET! ...I am the first one to actually do this, right? Right? Whatever, I have this omnibus set up. I'm going to post 7 different stories with one story a week or earlier. And maybe two weeks if I get writer's block._

_Anyway, I did this because, yeah, you guessed it, I LOVE TINY TINA~ Of course many of you know that already. So, I think i'm going to start it off with a fun little story about Tiny Tina and Gaige~ _

_NO THIS IS NOT YURI SHIPZ. Even though I ship that sometimes. Only the good, reasonable ships. Not like StarRaven or GaigeTina That stuff's just... bluh. Anyway, enough about me. LET'S MAKE IT RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNN NNNNNNNNNN... Tiny Tina stories!_

**Summary:**_ Bleh! Today is a boring day. Tiny Tina can't find anything to do. But there's one thing possible. One really stupid thing... Something Tina never thought she'd actually do. Invite Gaige The Mechromancer over for a Tea Party..._

_This is going to be so lame x3_

* * *

Tiny Tina just lay on her bed, staring up at the ceiling. BLEH, there was nothing to do today. She had broken up with Sir Reginald, Princess Fluffybutt was on her honey moon, and for some stupid reason, Mushy Snugglebites and Felicia Sexopants stopped talking to her. And to think, she was such a nice caretaker! Sure, she used them as explosive damsels, but everyone does that to their best friends at least once in their lives, right?

So no tea parties, no badonkadonks, **NO NOTHING**! Well... except for one thing. But she didn't even want to stoop to a low enough state to even think of doing such a thing. Maybe just this once... NO! What the heck? Who would invite their own rival to have a tea party.

...

Ugh, a desperate person, that's who! But Tina was just desperate enough to do this. And maybe while the tea party happened she could smack some sense into a certain red headed poser...

Gaige The Mechromancer. Tiny Tina kept on thinking why she was doing this while dialing on the ECHO she looted off of a dead body. She didn't like Gaige. _AT ALL_. Definitely a poser, Tiny Tina always thought when Gaige was ever mentioned. Gaige was totally stealing her thunder! Ever since she landed on Pandora and saved it from Handsome Jack, everyone's been praising the crap out of her!

No one ever came to Tina for work on broken stuff and explosives, they all trusted Ms. LookatmeIhaveagiantdeadlyrob otthatcankillyouinoneseconda nddoesallofmyworkforme to do that. But the young Vault Hunter was probably the only thing that could keep her from dying of complete and utter_ BOREDOM_.

Finally, she finished dialing the mechromancer and immediately spoke, not letting Gaige even say a simple hello.

"Bleh, your cordially invited to my tea party. Come as soon as you can. And by invited I mean you have to come and by as soon as you can I mean NAO. " She quickly hung up and tossed the ECHO communicator aside. Finally, she got to work on setting up the tea party.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Gaige walked down the short path toward Tiny Tina's workshop. She wasn't exactly sure why Tina would contact her on such short notice, but it seemed like a nice thing at the time. She had just went through this HUGE wave of bandits, and a tea party sounded relaxing. Gaige knew that Tiny Tina was trust able enough not to try and kill her with explosives, so she left DT to his own business at their last battle area.

Upon entering, Gaige spotted an impatient Tiny Tina sitting at a table.

"Ya late. " Tina complained.

"I can't exactly run all the way over here the second you hang up the phone. " Gaige responded, taking a seat on the other side of the table.

"Can't you do that summoning thingie and come here immediately? "

"No, that only works for Death Trap. "

"Robowhore? "

"What? "

"Your robot is a whore. "

"I don't know what your saying. "

"I'm saying I hate you. " At that moment, the two were silent. "A lot. "

"Then why am I here!? "

"Cuz i'm bored. "

"Well, guess what? I hate you too. "

"Fine. "

"Fine. "

"FINE "

"_**FINE!**_" Finally they both just sit there.

"...Let's talk Gaige. " Tiny began.

"Kay? " Gaige responded laying back in her seat.

"Let's rap. "

"What? " Gaige gave the 13 year old a look of confusion.

"So, how's life? " Tiny Tina questioned.

"Well, me and DT just took down like a flock of bandits... or a murder of bandits... I don't know what you call a big group of bandits. " Gaige explained.

"Das coo' . " Tina nodded. Believe it or not, the two struck up a good conversation about multiple things raging from Handsome Jack to 'that bitch Marcy' as Gaige puts it. But bandits don't even leave you alone if your trying to enjoy a nice tea party with a new friend.

_BOOM! _A huge explosion sounded. Gaige hopped up from her seat, stopping her sentence.

"What the hell was that!? " She screamed, looking out of the path that lead out. Shadows were creeping there way up the path.

"Girl, sit yo' butt back down! We ain't finished here! " Tina shouted after her. But Gaige was already on her way out of the domain. Tina groaned and followed after.

"What the hell do you think your doi- " She stopped her sentence when she saw all the psychos and enemies lined up. "Thinkin' what i'm thinkin' ? " Gaige nodded, a smirk crossing her face.

"WHO'S READY TO GET DEATH-TRAPPED?! " Gaige shouted, unleashing her insane-anarchy side. DeathTrap constructed itself onto the battle field and got to work. Gaige climbed onto the back of her epic robot and laughed insanely as bandits were rapidly slashed by digistruct claws.

In all of this insanity, Gaige had lost sight of Tina. Fear struck as she realized this. She hoped nothing bad had happened, but until the army was cleared out, she wasn't very capable of searching for the 13 year old. And she really could've used her help by now. DeathTrap was getting overpowered by the army. Finally, Gaige was left with no other choice but to call out.

"TINA! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?! " She screamed out desperately. No answer was heard. Was that it? Was she going to die? Was Tina already dead? Nope. Not at all. You see, Tina wasn't stupid. She had an epic plan to take out the bandits. But she was so busy, she had no time to answer Gaige.

Tiny Tina grinned as she stood atop of the cliff above the fight. Within her hand was the trigger she needed to set off the bombs. She held up her ECHO communicator.

"Gaige, imma need you to get your ass out of there. " She demanded.

"Your still alive?! Awesome. I'll get out of the way as soon as I possibly can. And just so you know, I mean now. " Gaige responded. And as soon as the red and grey dots that were Gaige and DT moved, Tina giggled a bit before pressing down on the trigger. And then a beautiful explosion appeared below. Bandit body parts flew up in the air, and rained down alone with little drops of blood.

"MAKE IT RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIN NNNNNNNNN! " She exclaimed, raising her hands to the sky, letting blood splatter her already-filthy clothing. After savoring the beauty, Tina met Gaige back at the workshop. There, they watched as body parts continued to rain down.

"That was badass. " Gaige said, breaking the silence.

"So. " Tina turned to her. "Same time tomorrow? " Gaige nodded in agreement and walked off, DeathTrap following behind loyally. Despite the boredom it started with, it turned out to be a pretty good day for Tina. Maybe they could make this tea-party-then-kill-bandit-horde-with-explosions stuff a regular thing for them. But for now... NAPTIME!

* * *

_That was lame. That was short and lame. I'm sorry 0_0 I disappointed you didn't I?_

_Uh... anyway... Um... R&R... Pretty please._

_Next story will be either gruesome or sad. Or both. May even have a Claptrap and Tina interaction story in here... SEE YA NEXT WEEK EVERYBODY!_


	2. 2: The Stranger

_HEEEEEEEYYYY BIIIITCCHHHHEEESSSS_

_Just kidding. So anyway, I decided to post the next story. Well it was going to go up yesterday but then it got all screwed up and that made me SAD D': _

_So, I had to remake it... yep, story of my life. Anyway, so I got 4 reviews and that makes me HAPPEH! _

_This time, instead of a really funny story, it's gonna be a bit dark. It came from this sick idea me and a friend were talking about. _

_LIGHT THE FUSES BITCHES!_

* * *

_Boom! CRASH! _

__Tiny Tina shot up from her bed. What was that sound? She didn't know, but it was loud and obnoxious. Not the boom sound, she loved those. They helped her sleep. The crash though... Whoever did this was seriously going to get a badonkadonk shoved down their throat! Hopefully it was a bandit or two. She loved watching them explode from the inside out...

Tina walked over a slammed her fist against the button, opening the garage door. The door's movement were loud and irritating like the crash. After the large piece of metal in front of her disappeared, she stared ahead. No bandits, in fact no human life in sight! Just a bunch of boulders from the explosion that probably took place. Bleh...

Well the only way to clear bomb wreckage is to use, of course, another bomb. Tiny Tina hummed as she set up bombs all across the border of rocks in front of her. After finishing her arrangements, she took a step back, admiring her work. She nodded slowly, taking out a trigger and letting her hand hover over the button.

"Hehe. " She giggled before slamming her finger hard on the button. A beautiful chain reaction ensued.

"AHAHAHA! BURN ALL THE BABIES!" Tina exclaimed with great fervency. It was wonderful! The colors of the explosions, the rubble flying everywhere due to the force of the explosions! Such a thing could only be seen if you set the 'splosives up in a perfect way. What a shame that it ended so quickly. Tina turned away, satisfied. She was ready to walk back, but a strange voice stopped her.

"Quite clever, aren't you? " The voice was distorted, but Tina could just make it out as a female voice. Tina grinned.

"Thanks for the complement, I appreciate it. " She said, slowly slipping a stick of dynamite and a trigger out of her pack, making sure the stranger couldn't see.

"It's too bad I have to kill you now. " The stranger sounded confident.

"BLAH! " Tina shouted, turning swiftly and tossing the dynamite stick, then pressing the trigger button. She chuckled to herself. But that laughing stopped as soon as a kick to the back sent her flying into the icy wall. Tina gasped, trying to return air to her lungs. She looked ahead to see a silhouette standing, there smirking mockingly.

Tina grumbled, getting up and dusting the snow off of her. The stranger frowned.

"Hmph. " She began. "I was hoping you'd be down for the count after that. "

"I'm not easy to put down, boiii. " Tiny Tina exclaimed playfully. The stranger's frown turned into a smirk.

"I beg to differ, Tiny Tina. " She said, drawing a long blade from her sheath.

"WHOAWHOAWHOA, girl, how you know mah name? " Tina questioned, eyebrows raised in confusion.

"I know alot of things about you. " The girl responded, raising her blade.

"Whoa. Stalker much? " The girl let out a battle call and ran toward Tina, a sharp blade coming down right in front of her. Luckily, Tina's dainty body allowed her to dodge without harm. And in that moment, she observed the details of the assassin.

On her confident and angry face, there were several stitches holding different skin together. Despite the scarf wrapped tightly around her, the girl wore a tang top and shorts. On her side, a sheath was strapped to her waist. Most of her visible body parts were stitched together, like some short of doll.

After the examination, the stranger delivered a good punch to Tina's stomach, sending her into the wall yet again. She groaned, holding her stomach. The stranger walked up to her, grinning in delight and sadism. Tina stared up helplessly.

"And you said you wouldn't go down easily? What a laugh. " She chuckled. There was no way of fighting... except for one thing. Tina had set up some landmines that she never got to use before, and now would be a good time to do so. Tina's helpless look became straight as she retrieved something from her bag. The stranger stared in confusion.

"All around the sta-ctus plant, the stalker chased the bandit... the stalker thought twas all in fun... " Tina sang as her finger approached the button trigger.

"Don't you dare- " The assassin started, but was interrupted.

"POP! " Tina shouted, her eyes widening in excitement. The explosives set off all over the place. Tina was pretty safe near the wall. She felt a bit lucky to have been pushed there in the first place. If not, she would have been a goner. She rose to her feet and looked around. No one in sight.

She walked contently toward her workshop. Thank badonkadonks, she could finally resume her nap. Those happy thoughts quickly floated out of her head as soon as a barely see able figure swept Tiny Tina off of her feet. She fell, cutting her arm on a snow covered rock. She winced in pain, grasping the fresh wound that was seeping with blood.

She gritted her teeth, holding back screams of pain.

"Just what the hell do you want anyway?! " Tina shouted, but it came out like a growl. The assassin slid her sword back into her sheath, still grasping the handle.

"I am Naomi, here to avenge my creator, Handsome Jack. He's dead because of your damned Vault Hunting friends. " She growled.

"Oh. That explains the beauty marks. BOOSH! Burn! " Tiny Tina shouted. Naomi drew her katana and rose it up above her head.

"You little... "

"Ah ah ah. " Tina said, waving a finger. She pointed at yet another trigger button. Then she titled her head towards Naomi's feet, revealing an assortment of explosives.

"You wouldn't dare... " Naomi growled. Tina gave her a look, as if saying "Wouldn't I? ". Naomi let out a battle cry and attempted to bring her sword down, but every time she tried, Tina would bring her finger closer to the button.

"Damn it, how many of those things do you have?! " Naomi shouted. Tina just looked into the distance, as if having a flashback. Naomi took advantage of this and sliced the trigger in half. This snapped Tina out of her flashback and she glared at Naomi in dismay.

"B- Why you have to be like that girl?! " She screamed. But then, it was back to the fight. Naomi had powerful katana moves and got hits on Tina a few times, but the katana was no match for her speed and dodging ability. Finally, Tina was able to punch Naomi in the face. The assassin girl stuttered backwards, holding the bruised area. She growled and seemed to disappear again.

Tina wasn't going to fall for that. She caught her breath, moving her head cautiously. She didn't want a surprise kick to the face... and she didn't get one. But she did get a surprise. A horrifying, gruesome one.

"You were always such a good fighter, sweetheart. " A distorted yet audible voice spoke. Tina's eyes widened, tears welling up. That voice... She knew it.

"Mommy? "

* * *

_"Daddy...? What's going on? " _

_"Don't worry honey! Everything's gonna be ok! " _

_"Baby, don't look... " _

_"Mommy?! " _

_"Sweetheart, remember that heavy red rock I told you to hide in your dress? Pull the pin at the top, then throw it at the wall! " _

_"Baby, listen to your mother. "_

_"Daddy, i'm scared! " _

_"JUST RUN TINA! RUUUNNNNAAAAAAAGGGHH! " _

_"Why is this happening?! " _

* * *

__"It's too bad you couldn't save us. " Her father's voice yelled in distortion.

"Selfish child... " Both voice said at the same time. Tina collapsed to her knees, holding her hands over her ears as her parents' voices shouted unbelievable insults to her. She sniffled, cried, wept, sobbed.

"Your sanity breaks down ever so slowly... " Naomi's voice spoke. "Your weakening from the desperation of seeing your beloved parents again. I am your parents. Both of them. Jack created me from their body parts. Now then... why don't you go to sleep? " Naomi approached, katana raised in victory. Tina sat there, staring down. She chuckled and brought the katana down, feeling great joy.

A sickening slash was heard. But... it didn't seem right. There wasn't enough blood, not enough thickness to be a human skull. Naomi's eyes widened in surprise. A hand was holding the blade back. Tina's hand to be exact. Blood dripped out of the fresh cut on the palm of her hand. Naomi pulled the blade back furiously, rage filling her eyes.

"HOW DARE YOU DEFY YOUR PARENTS! " Naomi screamed, a mix of both Tina's parents and her own voice escaping her mouth.

"Your not my parents... " Tina stood up. "Your a disgusting creation by that bastard, Jack! " She slammed her good, uncut hand into Naomi's stomach. Naomi chuckled in pure joy, as if someone had told a joke.

"Is that all you've got? " Naomi questioned. Tina gave her a smile and dashed off toward the workshop.

"What the- " Naomi blinked. She looked down to see a sticky grenade stuck to her stomach. And the pin was pulled... Naomi sighed, shaking her head, finally accepting her fate. But not without a few last words.

"Son of a bi- " The grenade exploded. Tina watched sadly as stitched body parts fell from the sky, along with internal organs and other gross stuff. It was the right thing to do... right? It wasn't hurting her parents... right? These questions floated around in her head until a thud snapped her out of it. On the ground, at her feet, was the katana Naomi once held.

She examined the blade, picking it up.

"You goin' on eBay. "

* * *

_LULZ! I totally ruined the moment at the end. It's a thing Tina would say, though. Right? Right? Yeah, whatever._

_So yes, this was meant to be sick. And funny. At the same time. So uh yeah... shooting for 5 reviews this time. I put a lot of time and effort into this story. I might even post another chapter today... A review agve me the idea to do a story about Tina and Zer0. That might be a bit of a challenge seeing that Zer0 speaks in ONLY HAIKU. Damn you Zer0..._

_So, I hope you enjoyed this. And maybe got a bit sad. Seriously, Tina's past shot me in the heart. I died man. I died. _

**~Saravv75**


	3. 3: Under the mask

_YAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY Story 3! _

_So this was just for shits and giggles mostly... It's a story I got the inspiration from a review I received. Sorry if I get Zer0's haiku a little off, I've never really used haiku before. It's probably going to be the shortest story. Oh btw, I'm excepting ideas for stories now :D  
_

_READ IT... Read it Read it Read it! _

* * *

Zer0 walked down the path to Tiny Tina's workshop. Another mission done. Hopefully the last one. Zer0 had to admit, she was a bit... annoying. In fact, she was the complete opposite of him. He was calm, silent, assassin while she was a 13 year old, loud, demolition approached slowly, the psychopath's eyes locked on him.

"I have completed the mission/ The train has been destroyed for you/ I would like my reward. " Zer0 not failing even once at his haiku. Tina stood silently, continuing to stare at the assassin. For a while, no words were spoken, no actions took place. Until, Zer0 waved a hand in front of Tina's face.

_Gotta know, gotta know, gotta know gotta knoooow! _Her mind screamed at herself. Finally after Zer0 poked her gently, Tina sprang to life.

"Zer0 can you take off your mask? Pretty please? For me?! " She questioned desperately. He sighed.

"I refuse to take it off/ The mask hides things that are personal/ It is not your business. " Zer0 replied.

"Blah blah blah, enough with your haiku crap. Now take off the mask, sucka. " Tina said, more demanding this time. Zer0 just shook his head and left.

"Where you goin', boo?! " She shouted after him, then looked at her work table. "He forgot his reward. Oh well, not my problem. My problem is that mask. And I will do whatever I can to see what's under it. Even if it means killing! " Tina let out a mass-murder laugh of insanity. She stopped and stared at Mushy Snugglebites who was seated on the bed.

"Bluh... no i'm not going bat-shit insane again even though that happen 5 times over the course of this weekend. " She assured the doll.

**Attempt #1 **

In the shadows, Tina stood, watching the assassin fight. Twisting left and right, dodging, slicing. She couldn't wait any longer. She crept toward the intense fight as silently as possible. Closer and closer, she reached toward his helmet. Suddenly, Zer0 turned around, thinking that Tina was a bandit. The tip of his sword cut Tina's forehead. A 'WTF' expression was plastered on her face before she passed out.

_One hospital trip later... _

**Attempt #2**_  
_

Zer0 sat and stared out at the desert. 10 missions today. None even remotely hard. Now that no one really needed him at the time, things were boring. He'd cleared out a ton of bandits, and he figured the remainder of them were too scared to come out and play. He place his sword in it's sheath and lay back, staring at the piles of snow. Suddenly, a sound was heard. It was his ECHO communicator! Boy, was he glad it rang.

But when he heard the voice on the end of the line, he kind of wished he ignored it.

"HEY HEY HEY! Vault Hunter! I gotz a job for yaz if your interested. Ya know what? I'm not giving you a choice. Getchur' butt over here! " Before Zer0 could refuse, Tina hung up.

Zer0 stood at the end of the path to Tina's workshop. But, there was one thing missing. The little psychopath wasn't anywhere to be seen! But there was a strange feeling in the atmosphere.

"I have a strange feeling/ There must be someone around here somewhere/ I do not like this. " He told himself. Zer0 stayed alert. Should he wait for her to return from whatever she was doing? A noise was heard. It grew louder and louder, coming close. Some tiny psycho creature just flew out of nowhere.

The words 'LOL NOPE' appeared over Zer0's head as he rose a fist for Tina's face to collide with. It was a trap, and Zer0 knew it. She fell back, laying on the snow covered ground, eyes swirling painfully. Zer0 shook his head in disappointment and walked off.

**Attempt #3 **

"Please?! " Tina questioned, staring up at the assassin. He shook his head. Tina got on her knees in a begging position. Her eyes grew wide and sparkly.

"Pweaaaaasssee? " She questioned again, sounding like a whining puppy. Damn, Zer0 really didn't need this. At least she wasn't asking for his helmet off.

"Fine, I will take you/ Just stop making that adorable face, please/ It's making me feel weird. " Zer0 replied.

"Yes! " Tina shouted victoriously, pumping her fists into the air. Zer0 sighed, kneeling down, allowing Tina to climb onto his shoulders. They were off as soon as possible.

A fight ensued quickly. Bandits popped up everywhere. Left and right, Zer0 sliced and diced the bandits while Tina threw a flawless pattern of bombs into the crowd of bandits ahead. They were quite different from each other, but they made a good team with their quick thinking. They easily took out the army in a matter of time.

Zer0 started running toward the next marked location. All was quite peaceful. It was the perfect chance. Tina reached for the helmet she grasped it firmly. So far, so good. She didn't move for a few moments, making sure Zer0 wasn't going to swat her hands away. Just as she was about to lift it, some 'Fus Roh Dah' bull shit happened.

"Danger lies ahead for you/ You will not see what hurts you/ I suggest you duck now. " Zer0 said. But it was too late. The Fus Roh Dah bull shit I mentioned before had knocked Tina off, Zer0's shoulders before she even deciphered what Zer0 had said. Zer0 towered over the 13 year old.

"Are you hurt very badly? / I think you need medical help now/ I'll get you to Sanctuary... "

**Attempt #4**

Zer0 snored as a pair of needy eyes watched over him. The eyes belonged to a certain 13 year old psychopath who was getting tired of failure. She walked toward Zer0, not caring if the loud creaking of the floorboards would wake him up. She reached for the helmet, grasping it in her hands again. She was ready to lift it. But then Zer0's hand shot up and grabbed her wrist, making her scared as crap.

She screamed and fell backwards. Zer0 groaned, getting up.

"GODDAMNIT! DO YOU NOT EVER TAKE OFF YOUR ARMOR?! " Tina questioned, fed up with her failed attempts. She pouted crossing her arms. Zer0 watched as Tina began to sniff. He shook his head and sat upright in his bed.

"You try hard and fail/ Your effort should have a better reward/ I'll take the mask off. " He spoke. Tina stared up, eyes wide in surprise and happiness.

"R-really? " She questioned. Zer0 nodded, placing his hands on his helmet. Tina watched intently as he twisted it and lifted slowly...

"OH. MY. GAWD. " Tina stared at Zer0. You see, his face was-

* * *

_Nope._

_And here, I leave you to imagine what Tina saw, whether it scarred her or might have been the most beautiful sight alive. But no one will ever know because Zer0's too much of a pussy to take off his helmet :D -shot- _

_So, yeah. That was short and possibly the shittiest thing i've ever written._ So i'll see you next week. Better have some razzan' frazzan' reviews...

**~Saravv75 as The Writer**


	4. 4: New Minion

"What do you mean your going on a mission?! I need you, minion! " Claptrap whined. The vault hunter did nothing but simply turn away and walk off. Claptrap sighed. What was he going to do? He needed stuff done, and without minion around, he couldn't do crap! There was only one thing to do now... Search for a new minion! Or temporary minion... Either way, he'd have someone to do his dirty work.

He rolled off and about around Sanctuary, asking anyone and everyone who was their. He was growing desperate for a new minion. He sighed, failing once again at getting a temp minion. He rolled off depressingly toward nowhere in particular. He rolled onward, onward, onward until he felt a sudden breeze. He looked up to find himself in the snow again.

Claptrap scanned the area with his one eyeball. The place was infested with various explosives and mines. It didn't lack bandits, either. In fact, one was coming towards him right now! Claptrap let out a high pitched shriek and zoomed off into a canyon area. He wheeled down the path and skidded to a stop, looking behind himself.

The bandit stood at the beginning of the path, shaking fearfully. Claptrap would've smirked if he had a mouth.

"That's right! Cower in fear at the almighty Claptrap! I am made of nothing but pure bravery! " He shouted. Suddenly, a shadow towered over him from behind. He looked behind him to see a humanoid.

"Sup. " It said casually. Claptrap screamed and fell backwards, raising his hands in front of his face for protection.

"D-don't hurt me! " He pleaded. The female human just grabbed one of his claws and helped him off the ground.

"I'm Tiny Tina. If your ok, imma go blow up that bandit now. You can come if your **man **enough. " She told him and started to walk off.

"Hmmm... " Claptrap hummed as he wheeled after Tina. "Say, kid. I like your style! " She looked back at him, straight faced. But Claptrap almost knew that behind that straight face was pure insanity.

" 'Course ya do. Everybody loves mah style. " She responded and began to walk again. Claptrap rolled after her eagerly. He coughed a bit to get attention from her.

"So, would you grant me the honor of being my temp minion? " He questioned hopefully. She turned to him.

"What's in it for me? " Tina smirked, crossing her arms. Claptrap hesitated a moment, choosing his words carefully.

"Well, you get to take part in some** _Explosive_ **action! and- " Tina shut Claptrap up already by talking over him.

"You had me at explosive. LES GO! " She exclaimed.

-Sanctuary-

"Alright minion, your first mission is simple! Just turn on the radiator over there! " Claptrap commanded, pointing over at the radiator. Claptrap had brought Tina to his little junk pile of a shelter for her first missions.

"Seems easy enough. " She walked over to the radiator and as she was about to reach for the valve, a red button caught her eye. She pointed at it the glanced at Claptrap with a straight face.

"Wassat do? " Tina asked.

"Oh, that makes it explode, don't press it pl- "

"EXPLODE?! " She questioned. She grinned and slammed down on the button with full force. Claptrap yelled something inaudible before the explosion sent the little robot flying.

XXX

Claptrap huffed and glared at Tina, wiping ash off of his smooth metal parts.

"Ok. I understand, turning a valve might have been... a little hard... " Claptrap said sympathetically, trying not to leap at Tina and choke her out for messing up something so simple. "So, i'll assign you to a new mission, minion! A friend of mine on the outskirts of Sanctuary has some... uh... magazines for me. Be a sweetheart and go get them from him? He's a bandit. But he's a friend so no worries. "

"Mhm. " Tina's eyes had widened and she'd zoned out when she heard the word 'bandit'. As Claptrap commanded, she walked to the outskirts of Sanctuary to meet his friend. She was thinking a lot of homicidal thoughts right now. The bandit friend of Claptrap's was easy to spot. Especially since he looked like a certain bastard that killed her parents.

Tina walked toward him, straight faced as usual.

"Ah, you must be Clappy's friend. He told me you was coming. Well I guess your here to pick up the magazines, eh? Yeah, here you go. " As the bandit talked on, Tina took the magazines and kept nodding her head.

"So, yeah. Make sure Clappy isn't too rough with the magazines. " The bandit stopped and stared at the dynamite stick in Tina's hand. "What the hell is that? "

"Dynamite. " She said before jamming the end of the stick through the bandit's eye and backing up. He let out a bloodcurdling scream before his head exploded. Tina smiled.

"That was epic. " She said before walking off to Claptrap to deliver his magazines. She walked into his junk pile-home-thing, handing the awaiting robot his magazines.

"Good job minion! " Claptrap exclaimed.

"I killed the bandit. " Tina announced.

"WHAT?! " He went wide eyed, dropping his magazines. "Y-YOU KILLED HIM?! "

"His head exploded. " She said. "It was awesome. "

"You weren't supposed to kill him! He's my friend! You were just supposed to talk! " Claptrap scolded.

"... But then his head wouldn't have exploded. " She responded.

"It wasn't supposed to explode! He wasn't supposed to die! " He shouted back. There was a long silence between the two of them.

"... But then his head wouldn't have exploded. " She repeated.

"GAAAAAHHH! " Claptrap yelled. "I'M SORRY! I can't take this anymore! I... I'm gonna have to ask you to leave. " He said, sniveling and pretending to wipe a tear from his eye. Tina bowed her head lowly.

"Owkay... " Tina said in a small, childish voice.

* * *

_Meant to be for humor and shit. I'm getting kind of lazy. All I know is that chapter 7 will be the epic finale to this omnibus. Chapter six will be up when I feel like it. _

_PEACE OUT. _

**~Saravv75 **

**P.S I better get some reviews. Even if my stories are becoming crappy and short.  
**


	5. 5: This is Halloween

_Halloween Approaches! _

_This year I shall go as Robin! Yes, Robin. Not Batman. _

_Perfect timing. I planned a Halloween story for my Tiny Tina omnibus! Cool, huh? Yeah it's short though... like ever other stinkin' story on this omnibus. But I guess you should expect that. Anyway, I was listening to This is Halloween by Marylnn Manson. And I got inspiration for this... YAY! _

_Reading time. Better not have frikin' skipped my notes, boi. _

* * *

Mr. Stick grinned at his bag of treasure. Well, treasure if you refer to candy as precious loot. He began laughing evilly.

"We're baggin' loads o' shit boys! " The bandit exclaimed, looking over to his two companions.

"I like my candy like I like my victims like I like my coffee... In the butt! " Mr. Mentality exclaimed, laughing insanely. Mr. Buff shook his head.

"Seriously, what the hell is that supposed to mean, man? " He questioned. Mr. Mentality immediately shut up.

"Alright boys! Let's hit the next house! " Mr. Stick exclaimed. The bandits pulled masks over the masks on their heads and walked onward. Maskception.

"OH GOD OH MY GOD GUISE LOOOOOOOOOKKK SRSLY! " Mr. Mentality shouted, pointing at the next house. It turned out to be that place they feared most. Tiny Tina's workshop. That goddamn 13 year old could wipe out 20 bandits in 3 milliseconds. The workshop was even more freaky then it had ever been. Realistic ghosts and zombies were

"That shit's freaky... It's gotta have some good candy. " Mr. Buff guessed. Mr. Stick laughed.

"HELL YES! Let's go! " He shouted stomping bravely down the pat to the psycho girl's workshop. The snow was drenched with fresh blood and the sides of the path were lined with bandit heads on sticks. Pinned to the walls were extremely f*cked up looking bunnies. Some were missing parts and bleeding out actual blood instead of stuffing. Others held knives and their faces were pinned up in wicked grins of evil.

Mr. Mentality shook and hid behind Mr. Buff.

"Dude, get off. You gay or something? " Mr. Buff scolded him, pushing the quivering bandit away.

"B-buff! I'm scaaaaarrredd! " Mr. Mentality shouted.

"Quit being such a wuss! This place looks amazing! Just replace the disembodied bandit heads with disembodied _civilian_ heads and i'd move here. " Mr. Stick grinned beneath his two masks. The bandits stood at the two side-by-side buildings.

"So... Where we knock? " Mr. Mentality started walking up to the workshop.

"No, not there! She's probably hiding in there! " Mr. Buff shouted. Mr. Mentality nodded and returned to the group.

"The house it is. " Mr. Stick announced stepping forward. They all knocked on the door. It creaked open.

"TRICK OR TREAT BITCH!" They shouted together. But no one answered. Instead, the door creaked open, welcoming them inside.

"Should we... ? " Mr. Buff stood still.

"NOHOHOHO! " Mr. Mentality shouted.

"Hell yeah we should! C'mon, idiots! " Mr. Stick exclaimed, walking on in. Behind them, the door shut hard, making a loud _t__hwack! _Mr. Mentality whimpered as they walked on through the house. The walls were, like the snow outside, stained with fresh blood. More bunnies lined the walls, each with different features that made them the sickest looking rabbits the bandit's had ever seen.

"The hell's our candy? " Mr. Stick questioned impatiently. Suddenly, lightning flashed outside and it began to rain.

"That's weird. There wasn't a cloud in the sky a few seconds ago. " Mr. Buff said, staring out a window.

"Dude, this is bat-shit insane. I need to get OUT! " Mr. Mentality shouted. Mr. Stick gave him a good punch to the face.

"Stop being a pussy! " He shouted. "We're going to be fine! The place is trying to look scary! That's it! Not like anything's gonna jump out at us! " Mr. Stick stood still as he heard several thumping sounds. He turned slowly to see the bunnies that used to be hanging on the walls were now on the ground, their heads turned so perfectly that the bandits felt like they were watching. The three of them walked slowly, trying not to disturb the strange rabbits. And as they walked, the bloody plushies' heads moved to continue staring at them.

"That was freaky. " Mr. Buff muttered.

"No shit... we gots to go man! " Mr. Mentality shouted. Again, Mr. Stick punched him.

"Told you to stop, dumbass. " On Mr. Stick's command, they continued through the house. About hallway through a bloodstained hallway, Mr. Mentality began to freak out again.

"It's here... it's here... There whisperin' to me man! WHISPERIN'! " He shouted.

"What the hell are you talking about? " Mr. Buff questioned, raising an eyebrow from beneath his two masks. Mr. Mentality started screaming. He pointed down the hall. Lightning flashed and a tall, unmoving figure stood there.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHSLEEEEENNNNNDE RMAAAAAAAN! " Mr. Buff and Mr. Stick screamed. They continued screaming while Slenderman, as he does, didn't move. It just stood there, watching them with non-existent eyes. Lightning flashed again and the tall figure disappeared.

"Goddamnit! It was probably just a trick... C'mon boys. " Mr. Stick grumbled, walking down the hall. Mr. Buff followed, dragging a spazztistic Mr. Mentality behind. They came to a purposeless room, empty and painted a dark red color. There weren't any other doors so it seemed to be a dead end.

"Grrr Crap! We did all that for nothing?! " Mr. Stick shouted. He slammed his candy bag against the wall. "SCREW YOU, YA RETARDED 13 YEAR OLD PSYCHOPATHIC BITCH! " Even though the room was empty, there was a window on the wall. And when lightning flashed once again...

I figure swung at them, upside down, on the wall. The group screamed in terror at the cloaked figure. Only her head showed.

"Sup. " It was Tiny Tina, scaring the living hell out of them and succeeding. The bandits dashed out the door they had come in through and down the hall they encountered Slenderman in. They made it to the area where the exit was. But now, the bunnies from before had eyes glowing red and they were laughing evilly. The three of them made a break for the door. Yet again, lightning struck and two figures appeared in front of their only exit. One exceedingly tall and the other short.

The bandits screamed because they knew who the figures were. Slenderman and Tiny Tina. The young psychopath smiled and waved while Slenderman just stood there watching again. The bandits stood there, frozen in fear. Tina nodded to Slenderman and skipped over to a box of matches. The bandits continued staring at Slendy, who stared back at the distraction continued, Tina lit a match, then lit a dynamite stick. Afterward, she pulled her arm back just right. She waited until the spark was about a quarter of the way from exploding then tossed it directly at the bandits.

As you would expect, the dynamite stick exploded, and pieces of Mr. Stick, Mr. Buff, and Mr. Mentality went flying. Tina retrieved a To-do list from her pocket a long with a pen. Her eyes scrolled down the list until she saw the words "Explode Banditz " written in sloppy handwriting. Next to the check box were an innumerable amount of checks. Se moved her hand down to a little empty area at the bottom of the page and added another check mark to the already-plentiful collection.

"Bad ass. " She said before high-fiving Slenderman, who moved for the first time in quite awhile to get his hand in the air. "We should do this again sometime. " Slendy nodded before walking away.

* * *

_Whelp, there's your Halloween special. Sorry it didn't include a lot of Tiny Tina but I got some funnies in there. Slenderman did some ooc things on purpose to add to the humor. Like being Tina's friend and high-fiving her at the end. I got that idea of Slendy and Tiny Tina being friends from a picture I saw on deviantART. Anyway so i hope you enjoyed this. Yes, the names were random. LOL._

__**~Saravv75**


	6. Cloned

_The grand finale grows near to us, friends. I'm afraid this will be the sixth story of our omnibus._

_Ya know, unless you guys want me to write more cuz that's TOTALLY fine with me. _

_The 7th story, however will be a finale. _

_So this story, we have our loveable little psycho- Well, read the story and find out. I ain't gonna spoil it for you. _

* * *

"You see, the New-U system works in the way a cloning device would. Much like the simulation you're about to see. " The guide explained as a group walked behind him. At the very back of this group was of course, Tiny Tina. Our little 13 year old psycho had visited a Hyperion tour to get some inside information on how things worked. Of course, no one knew that she was kinda sorta working against them so she was completely fine.

As the simulation cloned a test subject, Tina's eyes wandered over to a beaker that had the label 'unstable' on it.

_That looks dangerous. _She thought. _Gotta steal it or somethin'. _

"HEY GUIDE DUDE. " She called and then pointed the beaker. "Wassis do? " The guide turned to Tina.

"It's an unstable formula for cloning. Don't touch it. " He responded. Tina grinned. That was all he needed to say for her to think up a scheme to have a little fun. She reached over a poked the formula.

"Touch. " She said out loud, as if it were an important announcement.

"Don't touch it. "

"TOUCH. " She shouted again, poking the formula harder this time.

"Stop it. "

"_TOUCH!_ " She shouted once more, smacking the formula instead of poking it. The substance spilled out of the beaker, most forming a puddle on the ground. Let's just say, floors and certain thirteen got duplicated that day. And after floors started flooding the building, security guards escorted Tina and her brand new twin out of the door.

"...Well. I've always wanted a twin, how 'bout you? " Tina questioned, glancing at her duplicate-clone-thing.

"Let's blow shit up. That's what you're thinking right now, isn't it. " The duplicate questioned.

"Whoa. Am I trippin' right now? "

"Nope. Feels like it though, don't it? " Tina nodded slowly.

"Alright, well let's go screw with some bandits. "

"We gon' make it _RAAAAAAIIIIIN_ bandit parts. " Tina's heart filled with joy as she hugged her clone.

"Finally! Someone who actually understands my awesomeness! We gon' have so much fun togetha'. " The clone returned TIna's smile and nodded. As the two skipped off to their workshop together, they sung a rendition of the "I've Found a Brand New Best Friend" song from the Phineas and Ferb movie in unison.

Whelp, add that to the list of songs composed by Tiny Tina.

* * *

_**KABLOOM!**_

Yet another explosion set off in front of confused bandits.

"Ugh! This is getting boring. Bandits are too retarded-like to get different reactions out of. " The original Tina muttered as yet another confused bandit exploded. Tina and her clone sat at the tea party table thoughtfully for a moment. More bandits exploded due to land mines as they were trying to decide which Tina they should go after.

"Ahaha! " They both exclaimed.

"Ya thinkin' what i'm thinkin', sistah? " The clone question.

"Nope. I got nothin' "

"Ok, not the answer I was expecting but... " The two just sat there staring at each other for a few moments. "Anyway, Listen, sistah. "

* * *

"Tina? " Gaige called out as she entered the 13 year old's territory.

"Ah, good, ya here! " Tina exclaimed as she popped out at the red-head. "Oh, uh, get me a glass of milk from the fridge would'ya? I got some stuffs to collect. " Gaige stared at the workshop.

"You have a fridge? "

"Apparently. " Tina shrugged, skipping off. The mechromancer walked to the fridge idly and got out of the milk. Suddenly, Tina walked right in and snatched the milk.

"Hey can I borrow this, Kay thankz. " She spoke quickly.

"Wait, weren't you over there- " Another Tina peeped into the workshop.

"Hey did you pour me that glass of malk yet? " She questioned. Gaige put on the most confused look ever.

"What the hell is malk?! " She questioned, then looked back and forth between the two Tinas. "What the hell is this?! "

"Never mind that! " The Tina outside of the workshop exclaimed. "_GAIGE_, POUR ME A GLASS OF MALK! "

"I don't know what you're saying! "

"She just wants some freakin' molk! "

"Are we seriously making this reference!? "

"GIMMIE THE FREAKIN' MAL- "

"SHUT UP! " Gaige screamed, summoning Deathtrap. "JUST SHUT UP. " She commanded Deathtrap, making him point his laser at one of the Tinas.

"Whoa whoa whoa wait a secco, friendo! I'm the real Tina! Shoot 'er, she's da clone! "

"Wat. " The laser was turned to point at the opposite Tina.

"I expected this to happen, honestly. Gaige, you know which one of us is the real one, right? In case you're wondering, that would be me. " The other Tina said. Gaige's eyes narrowed as she commanded Deathtrap to shoot the one who had just spoken. Instead of blood and body parts flying in all directions, the clone eroded away in a pixelated fashion.

"...Boo. " Tina muttered as the clone disappeared.

"Well that was expected. I guess i'm not going to be alive anymore. It was fun blowin' up stuff though. I bid you adieu. " The clone spoke before disappearing.

"So. How'd you tell us apart? " Tina questioned Gaige. Her eyes went wide.

"You mean... that was the clone? " Tina gave her a 'WTF' look. The mechromancer bursted out laughing.

"I wasn't being serious! "

"Ah! You got me, damn you. " Tina exclaimed, punching her in the shoulder. "Hold this for a sec. " She dropped a small metal object into Gaige's hand and began walking away with a smile on her face. After Tina got distant enough, beeping came from the box.

"What's that noise? " Gaige questioned stupidly before she realized what was going on. "WHAT THE FU- "

_**BOOM!**_

* * *

_Finally got six up. I'm getting really lazy with these... hope it made you laugh just a little bit. _

_Good job if you spotted the references, if they weren't obvious enough.  
_

_The grand finale shall be here soon! Don't expect it for a little while, i'm taking a break from for a short time and I might get around to it soon. I actually wrote up some of it before I did this so there are like 400 words down already. I'm trying to make the finale reach about 2000 or over words instead of 1000 or over.  
_

_I hope you enjoyed this.  
_

**~Saravv75**_  
_


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